Well here I sit at the peak of middle age. It is a January morning and there is a frost rimed world beyond my windows. There is thick, patterned ice on the inside of the many windows in my house which are not double paned. It has become a glorious winter, like a winter should be, full of ice and snow. I rejoice in it. I am in the mood for winter this year. I hope the propane holds out until the end of March at least, but at this point I am doubtful.
We wouldn’t even have propane if it weren’t for the propane delivery man’s fortuitous mistake. He came two weeks ago, on one of my at home Thursdays, and put in $250 worth of propane, filling my tank one third of the way up. Boyfriend had called the day before to ask them to put $200 worth of propane on my credit card as the propane company must be paid in advance. They told him that the minimum amount would have to be $250 before they would deliver any propane. He didn’t agree to that because it was my charge card (the one with the 27% interest rate) and he hadn’t cleared that amount with me. So we weren’t to get any propane that delivery day, except that the delivery man apparently made a mistake. He gave us propane. Now I am hoping I can pay it off over time, although even that will be hard. I have been grateful to that delivery man for giving us unexpected warmth. I feel warm, colorful valentines of gratitude puffing through the wintry air from my heart to his. I hope it is warming him in some way too.